Tuesday 20 September 2016

Friendship, humanity, humility

As I am missing my friends very much lately, I have been thinking of what the secret behind a lasting friendship is. In my case, life has taught me to give up on people and relationships very easily. I've had enough realistic burdens to let myself be bothered with people who weren't worth it when I could just shut them out.

In spite of this, there are some people- and I can count them on the fingers of one hand-who no matter how far they are, how much time passes without us speaking to each other, I feel that we are one person and by that I mean: Your joy is my joy and your sorrows are my sorrows.
Yet, there are some who have never done anything wrong to me really, been faithful friends and have been there for me and out of duty I really wish to be there for them, and I am...as much as I can, though it does not feel the same at all. It takes effort and sacrifice and at times...I really blame myself for not being able to feel with them. Even more that, it wasn't always the same...

And although I am sure that I must make every effort to be next to this friend, the blame is shared. No matter how much you try to be a good friend, no matter how much wisdom you have gathered on how to actually be a good friend, a relationship is something that we build together. And it's built on humanity and humility. I've come to realize that the most important variable in a friendship is letting the other know that you are human- you have ups and downs, doubts, struggles and you need help. But to recognize this you need humility.

I try to be motivational myself, I want people to be encouraged, to see that there is always a bright side of life and it's always possible to look at that instead of focusing on the empty half. And I mainly do this because, I , myself need it. I'm not a bright person, actually I find it very hard to find the good in things/people, but have a natural talent to find faults. And my friends know very well of things I don't like, things I'm unhappy about and my moments of misery.There's a difference between trying to encourage and motivate people and speaking of yourself as if your life is sugar and honey. I believe there is no such person in this world, and if they say so ...I really believe they are lying. There is a difference between posting a picture of you and your happy family on social media and always telling your friends how well everything is going.

How can there be a friendship where only one of us needs the other? How will a person open up to you  if you start telling them how wonderful your life is when theirs is shattering? One needs the comfort to know that the person whom he talks to has made mistakes as well in order to be able to confess theirs. I know how painful it is not being able to confess my sin or my struggles to a friend and be encouraged. And I also know how blissful it is when a friend comes and says: I know how you feel, I've been there myself. I will pray for you. 
We should stay true to who we are, put others first, think wisely before opening our mouth, share our failures...be humble, be human. In the end...I'm sure it's going to be a win win situation.