From this corner where I'm sitting, everything looks gloomy;
I have put on the black lenses.
No career prospects, who dares to ask for a bank statement? (Jeremiah 29:11)
I don't have a home, will I ever have one? I am a stranger in this land... (Philippians 3:20)
No one understands me. Who is there to blame..but me? and them! (Hebrews 4:15-16)
I'm a freak and a bad actor- I will never be accepted or loved. (Isaiah 43:4)
I've become numb to any emotion but self-pity and sadness. (1 Peter 1:6-7) I see this world through the black lenses... - My intention is to illustrate how we all go through these phases when we are putting on the black lenses and everything around us seems to be going wrong though things are merely a matter of perspective)
Cand temeri ma cufunda-n taina noptii-adanci,
Alerg mereu la Tine, Tu- Domn ce legeni prunci...
M-asez in poala ta, cu inima-npietrita
si fata mi-o acopar de lacrima pornita.
Eu n-am cuvinte, Doamne,
Sa-ti spun tot oful meu;
Iar de cerut, ti-as cere,
dar a vorbi mi-e greu.
M-apasa, Doamne- moartea- intregului pamant
A inimii din mine, si-a propriului cuvant.
Eu vreau sa fiu ca Tine, si-n voia Ta sa fiu,
Dar vad ceva in mine ce e doar gol, pustiu...
Un rau secat de vreme, de cuget, nebunie!
Un rau curgand odata, cu Duhul Tau- prin mine...
Eu n-am cuvinte Doamne
Sa-ti spun tot oful meu;
Iar de cerut ti-as cere,
dar a vorbi mi-e greu.
Te strang doar langa mine,
Lipit de pieptul meu,
Ca din a Ta iubire-
sa pot iubi si eu.
Excitedly, she went to the duty free store to get herself a pen. She knew that rarely would she get into that state where she can actually write something that would make sense to anyone but herself. For the first time in her life she was happy for the one-hour delay of her flight to the promised land of Germany, where she would cool off from all that stress she carefully gathered throughout the year.
The thoughts of the dream she had early in the morning would not leave her though..and truth is: who could ever forget witnessing the explosion that caused their death- all the more with those vivid dreams she has. The only reason she woke up was because He wasn't coming- so she realised it was a dream, otherwise He would have been there. Never before had she called Him that sweetly, He would have come. Yet, there she was, in her bed, with her heart racing. She was terrified of how death came without a notice. She was running down the stairs of a huge building, making fun of her friends for not being able to keep a straight line. So silly. And in a flash, she saw a bright light coming from the outside and she knew it- everything was over.
Afterwards, nothing- only clouds covered in a yellow bright light .So she called him -Jesus...
For a few
months, I had wanted to discuss body image, not only from a sociological point
of view (which I do at university), but also from a Christian perspective. I have
a strong desire to encourage both Christian and non-christian women who are
struggling with low self-esteem and body image dissatisfaction, so I really
hope that after reading this article you will learn to see yourself in another
light, closer to how the One who created you sees you and closer to your real
worth.
Did you
notice how much us girls engage in fat talk when we get together? We talk about
diets,share frustrations, concerns, weight management tips we even make jokes
or scold each other when we eat something 'bad'. Not only do we give moral
significance to food and judge ourselves in relation to what we eat and how we
look but by engaging in this type of talk we learned to monitor and control
each other, transmitting this social ideal of thinness. Not once did I find
myself scolding someone for eating something sweet just because I was on a diet
and I knew I wasn't allowed- though the other party was not at all concerned
with the calories.
According to
social comparison theory people prefer downward comparisons, in order to
achieve self-enhancement . Yet, when evaluating their bodies women mostly
engage in upward and lateral comparisons. Truth is, I never felt skinnier when
I saw an over-weight woman but I always feel incredibly fat when I hear my
skinny friends complaining about their weight.
Western society
represents a ‘cultural paradox’ whereby there is demand for both dieting and
junk food consumption. People are bombarded with ‘artificially glamorized
images of highly processed foods’, but in this world us women are expected to
be more and more thin. And what happens next? Well the food, diet and
fitness industries grow. More and more products promising miraculous results
such as cellulite creams, spot firming creams and diet pills have appeared on
the market and women have committed themselves to buy and try them (Hesse-Biber
1996) in hope that they would find an easy way to overcome the issue of weight.
From 2000 to 2001 there was a 48% increase in the number of cosmetic surgeries;
88% of them were performed on women with liposuction and breast augmentation
both being in the top percentages and keeping these positions to the year 2010.
Paradoxically, women are expected to be thin but have large breasts which
doesn’t come easy for all women because when one loses weight, the breast fat
goes away as well. Another surprising fact is that the fitness industry
benefits more from women, at least in the US where, in 2001, 51.1% of fitness
equipment was purchased by women (Miller and Associates, 2006) and gyms can now
be seen everywhere.
In their
efforts to achieve the ideal body, individuals often experience the yo-yo
effect when failure to continue with a diet results in gaining more weight
(Hesse-Biber et al. 2006). As a consequence, the constant struggle with weight
loss is also linked with depression, low self-esteem, insecurity, feelings of
ineffectiveness and distrust in relationships (Ackard et al. 2002). Body obsession fostered by the circulation of
the cultural ideal of thinness can give way, in women with specific existing
psychological patterns, to eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia (Mental
Health Foundation 2015). As a fact, anorexia has a higher mortality rate than
any other mental illness (Hesse-Biber et al. 2006). Yet, even when there are no
such traits, women seem to engage in ‘culturally induced eating’ – ‘a pattern
of behaviors that directly stems from the socio-economic and cultural context
within which women's lives are embedded’ (Hesse-Biber et al. 2006:211) which is
similar to some of the eating disorder’s symptoms such as obsession with food,
starvation, dieting, bingeing and purging, laxatives and diuretics abuse
(Hesse-Biber et al. 2006).
I find it ridiculous how, WE have such an
active role in bringing upon ourselves such misery. It shouldn't be like this.
We have to open our eyes wide to what is happening around us- we have to see
how the capitalist market is making profit using our weaknesses and refuse to
play this game. I am not saying we should not take care of our bodies, or have
a healthy diet. In fact, I believe it is our duty to take care of the bodies we
were given. But when I say HEALTHY I
don't mean the fad diets we usually take up out of desperation. Take care of
yourself, be healthy, live an active life, love, laugh and enjoy yourself the
way you are. I know we forgot to love ourselves and therefore we try to gain
acceptance by achieving societal perfection. Yet, this is not the perfection we
should seek for beauty comes from the inside. Learn to love yourselves, because
there is someone who loves you endlessly, thinks you are wonderful and is proud
of you- when He created you He said that you are very good, so trust Him.
I know it seems a contradiction in terms, but exactly because I think so much of my inner self, because my every breath is a thought about my actions, talking about myself became one of my favourite subjects.
I'm in a strange relationship with people. Whenever I want to get close to them, I get misunderstood and when I drawback they seem not to see me at all. I am thinking my self-worth would probably be shaking right now. Luckily, caught up in this confusion and misunderstood I know that God sees me as I am. And I am His child, made flawless by the blood of Jesus to live not for people but for the Creator of the Universe.
Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it.Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.
I am so overwhelmed with what, how much and the way God spoke to me this week that I feel the urge to set up a few pillar stones in remembrance of this so that I might not lose my way.
1. God gave me comfort and confidence by reminding me that He will do what I cannot do with what I do not have.
2. I am inadequate, but in my greatest weakness He will reveal His greatest power.
3. It's not about the skills, it's about the heart and there is no other source to which I can connect my heart to get life but the True Vine.All other vines(passions) will be withered and burned along with their fruits (Matthew 13:30) at the end of the days.
4. Although we seek fulfillment and identity in the other vines we will never find it unless we give it up. ( Matthew 10:39)
5. Man's identity is in God ( Genesis 1:27) and when we try to create our own identity we are just making ourselves Gods. Jesus did not consider Himself equal to God, he gave up all His glory in full obedience, took up the cross and fulfilled God's plan for our salvation.
6. In this light, it is truly crazy how we ask ourselves if something is sinful instead of asking ourselves if it is glorifying to God.
What I mean is..I have so many dreams and plans and time seems to be slipping through my fingers. Another year passed and I am feeling anxious, knowing that I am not a plant and can't afford growing roots.
I believe that God can talk so each and
every one of us can understand; He reveals Himself to people of all ages and
cultures. He speaks in one way to a child and in another to an elder. He
speaks in wonderful ways.
Job 33:14-30
God speaks in
different ways, and we don’t always recognize his voice.
Sometimes in the night,he
uses terrifying dreamsto give us warnings.God does this to make us turn from sin and
pride and to protect us from being swept away to the world of
the dead.
Sometimes we are
punished with a serious illnessand aching joints. Merely
the thought of our favourite foodmakes our stomachs
sick, and we become so skinny that our bones stick out.We feel death and the
grave taking us in their grip.
One of a thousand
angels then comes to our rescueby saying we are
innocent. The angel shows kindness, commanding death to release us, because
the price was paid.
Our health is
restored, we feel young again,and we ask God to
accept us. Then we joyfully worship God, and we are rewardedbecause we are innocent. When that happens, we tell
everyone, “I sinned and did wrong, but God forgave me and
rescued me from death! Now I will see the light.”
God gives each of uschance after chance to be saved from
death and brought into the lightthat gives life.
This is my testimony today: “I
sinned and did wrong,but God forgave me and rescued me from death! Now I will see
the light.”
There is a great risk if you belong to
a Christian country that you would think you know about God, and you know
enough to decide whether He is real or not. Whether the Bible is true word by
word or it's merely a set of ideas trying to portray the Creator of the
Universe and set up some general moral values for people to follow so that
humanity doesn't end up in complete chaos. I was this kind of person, who lived
in a Christian country in which they taught religion in school- always liked
the subject but never applied it to my life or understood the only truth that
makes Christianity worth and that is the death of Jesus Christ. Don't get me
wrong, I knew about His death, I could bring arguments for its validity. But I
never knew that He died for me, I knew how he struggles to carry that heavy
cross, but I never knew that the cross was mine- the burden of my sins.
I
never understood that Christ carried my sin and died for me so I can be
forgiven and saved.
To me, God was a theory, He
wasn't part of my life- he just existed somewhere far away-too far away for me
to bother about His existence. Until one day, when I called upon Him.
I first met God at the age of 17. The
context in which I met Him now seems silly even to me, but at that time it was
deeply painful for me. This is why I said beforehand that God has to speak to
everyone in a way that they would understand. It's teenage days when boys and
girls come to experience love and this love usually finishes with someone getting
heartbroken. For me, who was an extremely idealistic girl, a toxic relationship
brought a lot of pain to the point that I wanted my feelings to go away. Yet, I
could not let go. So I really prayed hard to that God whom I never gave
attention to before that somehow, through a miracle, this will come to an end.
And they did, indeed, miraculously. It wasn't my decision for I didn't have the
power to let go of that person. One day, he just grabbed a girl I knew and
kissed her in front of my face. It's the truth and although I am not a person
who likes too much disclosure I have to tell this in order for what follows to
make sense. Now...I am asking you: What would be a normal reaction to
this? Think for a few seconds.
What happened surpassed my every
understanding. I thought I would cry and I knew that if someone gets a shock
they might laugh instead of crying. But I was both crying and laughing tears of
joy, I felt relieved and what is more I had a strong feeling that it was the
answer from God that I was waiting. From that moment, I never wavered. Out of
gratitude, I wanted to know this God better so I went to confession and did
things that a good Christian does. I felt good about it, but my hunger for God
was never satisfied until God has brought me to a place where people were
talking about His Son, Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. There I first heard the
notion of a relationship with this PERSON, Jesus Christ. So I wanted to get
into this relationship and know the one who died for me so I can have eternal
life. I never regretted my decision to follow Jesus, for I truly know who He
is, beyond what can be seen. There is another dimension that cannot be reached
no matter how much knowledge about God someone can gather, and I truly wish
everyone would experience it at its fullest.
Imi dau seama ca niciodata nu am scris despre tine. Am plans, am ras, am povestit si tot universul stie. Insa nu te-am scris, asa cum te-a scris Creanga. De doi ani sunt un Harap Alb,mut. Am avut parte de Spani, dar si de prieteni nazdravani. Proba dupa proba, ma apropii tot mai mult de sarcina pentru care am venit. Vad in ceata, dar Duhul Sfant imi descopera franturi din fresca divina. Cand voi putea vorbi, va fi harul Lui- voi putea spune cine sunt si care mi-e natura. Imi striga inima, dar sunt mut. Asa ca scriu. Iti scriu. Va scriu.
