Introversion- one of a kind

I know it seems a contradiction in terms, but exactly because I think so much of my inner self, because my every breath is a thought about my actions, talking about myself became one of my favourite subjects.

If only we had time- what would change?

If only I had time-

I'd change the colors of the sky

My life that's only black and white

All troubles would be left behind

I'd grow in faith, I wouldn't sin

By prayer I would be kept clean

The Bible would be by my side

And I'd rejoice in God's delight

But time is quick, and time's a trick

The perfect alibi one can pick-

When I have time but spend it wrong

When I delay to take God's call. 

Misunderstood

I'm in a strange relationship with people. Whenever I want to get close to them, I get misunderstood and when I drawback they seem not to see me at all. I am thinking my self-worth would probably be shaking right now. Luckily, caught up in this confusion and misunderstood I know that God sees me as I am. And I am His child, made flawless by the blood of Jesus to live not for people but for the Creator of the Universe. 

                                   

                  Only beautiful flowers have thorns ^^

My Bethel

Genesis 35:14-15

Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it.  Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.

I am so overwhelmed with what, how much and the way God spoke to me this week that I feel the urge to set up a few pillar stones in remembrance of this so that I might not lose my way.

1. God gave me comfort and confidence by reminding me that He will do what I cannot do with what I do not have.
2. I am inadequate, but in my greatest weakness He will reveal His greatest power.
3. It's not about the skills, it's about the heart and there is no other source to which I can connect my heart to get life but the True Vine.All other vines(passions) will be withered and burned along with their fruits (Matthew 13:30) at the end of the days.
4. Although we seek fulfillment and identity in the other vines we will never find it unless we give it up. ( Matthew 10:39)
5. Man's identity is in God ( Genesis 1:27) and when we try to create our own identity we are just making ourselves Gods. Jesus did not consider Himself equal to God, he gave up all His glory in full obedience, took up the cross and fulfilled God's plan for our salvation.
 6. In this light, it is truly crazy how we ask ourselves if something is sinful instead of asking ourselves if it is glorifying to God.

Keep Pressing Forward

 What I mean is..I have so many dreams and plans and time seems to be slipping through my fingers. Another year passed and I am feeling anxious, knowing that I am not a plant and can't afford growing roots. 

Testimony

I believe that God can talk so each and every one of us can understand; He reveals Himself to people of all ages and cultures.  He speaks in one way to a child and in another to an elder. He speaks in wonderful ways.

Job 33:14-30

God speaks in different ways, and we don’t always recognize his voice.
Sometimes in the night, he uses terrifying dreams to give us warnings.  God does this to make us turn from sin and pride and to protect us from being swept away to the world of the dead. 

Sometimes we are punished with a serious illness and aching joints. Merely the thought of our favourite food makes our stomachs sick, and we become so skinny that our bones stick out. We feel death and the grave taking us in their grip.  

One of a thousand angels then comes to our rescue by saying we are innocent. The angel shows kindness, commanding death to release us, because the price was paid.

Our health is restored, we feel young again, and we ask God to accept us. Then we joyfully worship God, and we are rewarded because we are innocent. When that happens, we tell everyone, “I sinned and did wrong, but God forgave me and rescued me from death! Now I will see the light.”
God gives each of us chance after chance to be saved from death and brought into the light that gives life.

 This is my testimony today: “I sinned and did wrong, but God forgave me and rescued me from death! Now I will see the light.”

There is a great risk if you belong to a Christian country that you would think you know about God, and you know enough to decide whether He is real or not. Whether the Bible is true word by word or it's merely a set of ideas trying to portray the Creator of the Universe and set up some general moral values for people to follow so that humanity doesn't end up in complete chaos. I was this kind of person, who lived in a Christian country in which they taught religion in school- always liked the subject but never applied it to my life or understood the only truth that makes Christianity worth and that is the death of Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong, I knew about His death, I could bring arguments for its validity. But I never knew that He died for me, I knew how he struggles to carry that heavy cross, but I never knew that the cross was mine- the burden of my sins.

I never understood that Christ carried my sin and died for me so I can be forgiven and saved.

To me, God was a theory, He wasn't part of my life- he just existed somewhere far away-too far away for me to bother about His existence. Until one day, when I called upon Him. 

I first met God at the age of 17. The context in which I met Him now seems silly even to me, but at that time it was deeply painful for me. This is why I said beforehand that God has to speak to everyone in a way that they would understand. It's teenage days when boys and girls come to experience love and this love usually finishes with someone getting heartbroken. For me, who was an extremely idealistic girl, a toxic relationship brought a lot of pain to the point that I wanted my feelings to go away. Yet, I could not let go. So I really prayed hard to that God whom I never gave attention to before that somehow, through a miracle, this will come to an end. And they did, indeed, miraculously. It wasn't my decision for I didn't have the power to let go of that person. One day, he just grabbed a girl I knew and kissed her in front of my face. It's the truth and although I am not a person who likes too much disclosure I have to tell this in order for what follows to make sense. Now...I am asking you:  What would be a normal reaction to this? Think for a few seconds.

What happened surpassed my every understanding. I thought I would cry and I knew that if someone gets a shock they might laugh instead of crying. But I was both crying and laughing tears of joy, I felt relieved and what is more I had a strong feeling that it was the answer from God that I was waiting. From that moment, I never wavered. Out of gratitude, I wanted to know this God better so I went to confession and did things that a good Christian does. I felt good about it, but my hunger for God was never satisfied until God has brought me to a place where people were talking about His Son, Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. There I first heard the notion of a relationship with this PERSON, Jesus Christ. So I wanted to get into this relationship and know the one who died for me so I can have eternal life. I never regretted my decision to follow Jesus, for I truly know who He is, beyond what can be seen. There is another dimension that cannot be reached no matter how much knowledge about God someone can gather, and I truly wish everyone would experience it at its fullest. 

Mutarea 1

Imi dau seama ca niciodata nu am scris despre tine. Am plans, am ras, am povestit si tot universul stie. Insa nu te-am scris, asa cum te-a scris Creanga. De doi ani sunt un Harap Alb,mut. Am avut parte de Spani, dar si de prieteni nazdravani. Proba dupa proba, ma apropii tot mai mult de sarcina pentru care am venit. Vad in ceata, dar Duhul Sfant imi descopera franturi din fresca divina. Cand voi putea vorbi, va fi harul Lui- voi putea spune cine sunt si care mi-e natura. Imi striga inima, dar sunt mut. Asa ca scriu. Iti scriu. Va scriu.